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Mono-Gone


 

"Salsa class for one please". Me on my birthday enjoying some salsa lessons at Houston Ballroom Dance .

“Salsa class for one please”. Off the shoulder lace bodysuit (Victoria’s Secret) , Ballerina long skirt (H&M) and Shoes (Christian  Louboutin) Me on my birthday enjoying some salsa lessons at Houston Ballroom Dance

.As a recently single woman I have found myself on an island filled with men willing to pick up my bar tab, take a peek at my snapchat and those interested in nothing but electronic flirting. Upon my separation, I liked that idea of e-flirting since intimacy with a new man wasn’t something I was interested in or ready for. However, I hoped to be one day, but with this new style of dating I don’t know if I am ever going to be ready. It is scary out there for a semi-conservative woman.

In the past four months I have interacted with the guy who likes to only deal with you via phone, the one who stops talking to you without explanation, the one who seems intimidated by you, the one who continues on requesting intimacy, the one who selfishly wants all your time, and the cheater. However, they all had one thing in common, their recurring statement of “I am not looking for a serious relationship.” If I was only interacting with younger men this would not concern me but I am talking about men over 30 years old who are also issuing this disclaimer.

I recently watched a video on relationships and on how we should not allow other’s relationships to influence ours. We become blinded by perfect posed smiles, beautiful filters and the old “my bae is better than yours” post. Now don’t get me wrong I love a good filtered selfie but are these delightful social media self-loving posts our down fall in the romance/relationship department? It feels like it.

What is a rule-less interaction good for? Sexual encounters only? Are we not doing the let’s meet on Friday for a movie and on Sunday for brunch kind of things anymore at all because we fear love or “rules”? Hell I just got my heart broken in a million pieces (I had some fault in that) but yet I can’t wait to fall I love again the way I loved the man who broke my heart. Love is magic I always say, it’s not logical. It is unexplainable. What are these recent generations so afraid of? But most important? Why are the majority of males out there embracing non-committed promiscuity and pushing it down our throats?

Example
Man: Hey you are beautiful and sexy and I really like you let’s talk all day and all night. Let’s get to know each other but be aware that I won’t do serious relationships.

My single woman interpretation: Hey you are beautiful and sexy and I really like you let’s talk all day and all night. Let’s get to know each other until a better deal comes around. (pause) …Okay. What the fuck?! Pardon my French.

Now, I am about to be petty so excuse me. Mediocre looking guys are just as bad as the really good looking ones. I am being kind with my words because I don’t believe anyone is physically ugly. In times where women are fighting for equality allowing men to place these kind of boundaries is ridiculous. As if we women need any more shit in the relationship department. I believe in love, movies on Fridays and brunch on Sundays. I believe in first dates and the cute little first fight for the dinner check.

So is monogamy the new endangered species?

Love isn't about rules, restrictions, material things or even time. There is more to it, acceptance, understanding, effortless commitment and the inexplicable connection to another human. I want that.

Love isn’t about rules, restrictions, material things or even time. There is more to it. Acceptance, understanding, effortless commitment and the inexplicable connection to another human. I want that.

 

Izzy

-House of Alice Rose-