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Mistakes with Rewards…(Part 2)

The much awaited part 2 of our first Guest Author’s, Veronica, story. See how she turned her mistakes into motivation to turn her life around. Read on, enjoy, and leave us some feedback! 🙂

 

In my 1st post you read about my background and where I came from, and now I would love to share with you who I am today.

When I decided to leave the apartment that I had ran away to, I vowed never to look back, it was hard but I remembered all my tears and realized that lifestyle was not worth it. Since then I promised myself to never question God for my misfortunes, but to thank him for all my success, and from then I have felt blessed. I truly believe God gave me a new life when he gave me my son, Dion. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying my life is perfect or that I have been saved from pain and tragedies, but I choose to focus on the positive. God has given me the best instruments in life to live: my son, my family, and my friends.

 

Admitting to my mistake wasn’t easy, but my son and his future were well worth it. My parents took us both back with open arms. But it was an uphill battle to gain their trust back because they were afraid I would run away again. Their help was limited and their rules changed; they got worse. They taught me a very rough life lesson: to obtain respect you have to give it first. I spent the following years proving to my parents that I was mature enough for both my son and I. At the time I may not have known what I wanted out of life, but I was certain of what I did not want for my son and I. A major thing was obtaining financial stability, and even though I’m still working on that, I am better than I would’ve been if I hadn’t admitted to my mistake. On the financial level my goal was to provide a house for my son as something he could claim. Our stay with my parents was of great help, but my son and I shared a room and he was quickly growing up and asking questions. As for my love life, I would ask myself, “Who will want to take up this responsibility? What will their family say?”… So I gave up on that part of my life and focused on Dion.

Since I was young my parents taught me that nothing in life is free and if you want to accomplish something good in life you have to do it yourself. I faithfully believed I had to provide for my son as much as possible after the “Father” left the country and I became my son’s mother and father. While living with my parents they would ask if I was going back to school to accomplish their dream of me graduating college, but being a single mom and working full time made that dream blurry. I did enroll in school and would attend night school from 7 pm to 10 pm after working from 8 am to 6 pm. I began to lose patience because my schedule left me with limited time with my son and hardly any for me. When I was home with my son I began making the mistake of feeling guilty if I punished him when doing something wrong. I was afraid he would resent me for being gone most of the day to only come home to get after him. It got to the point he would fight back and I caught myself arguing with him as if he was my brother and I was his big sister instead of having a mom/son relationship. This is when I realized I had made another mistake and needed to correct it. I matured next to Dion, so in a weird way we both grew up together. I reduced my time at school so I would have some more quality time as his mom and some much needed time for me.

For about six years this was my way of life with nothing in between to prevent me from dedicating myself 100% to my son and job. I did stop school, but I didn’t reduce my commitment to work as I strived to be successful. Then, one day in 2008 I received a MySpace request from a long lost friend that I had met at bible study in 2000,  Roland. I still remember the day I saw his message I had butterflies because I had a secret crush on him when we were young that I never told him about. Reuniting with him was another turning point in my life and our first date shared with my son and sister took place after Hurricane IKE. Little by little he brought back the joy of life to me. I was laughing more often and I felt proud of who I was. He became my best friend and there was nothing I held back from him. I appreciate him so much for being next to be every step of the way from that moment, especially when our family lost my cousin Omar. My cousin was more like a brother to me because there is no childhood memory that he isn’t a part of. When we were little all of our parents worked so they left us together to take care of each other. My brother, sister, Omar, several other cousins, and I were always together. His murder caused an indescribable pain in my heart.  Even to this day I wish I could’ve frozen the last night I saw him. It was filled with laughs and jokes, but surprisingly Omar got serious for a moment and told me how happy he was for me and that even though he knew I didn’t care about his opinion, he said Roland was approved by him. Following those months after this tragedy Roland was there to comfort every tear I shed, and that’s when I was certain he was the man of my life. Last year in July 2011 he became my husband, and I must say it was one of the best days of my life. It’s funny because I’ve heard people tell him how lucky he is or ask me how I fell in love with him? But honestly, I am the lucky one because he brought life, happiness, and color to our lives.

After our wedding we were hit with the loss of Father Rick, the priest who married us and also shared great memories with, he had passed away just after two weeks of our marriage. We were both deeply saddened as I remember him with a big smile being so honored to be part of our matrimony. Knowing that someone so important as Father Rick believed in us gives us comfort as husband and wife that everything will work out in our life together.

In 2011 I also accomplished the one goal I promised for my son and bought our own house! I was saving as much as possible, I live by the rule of purchasing only If I need it not if I want it. In order for this saving technique to work I was very disciplined and it paid off. I’m never going to forget the first night the three of us stayed at our brand new house and after Dion picked his room he just stood there and said to me, “Mom this is the best day of my life!” With those words I broke down because I felt worthy of being his mother. It has been a year since we became a family; it has not been easy but we are not giving up. I say it hasn’t been easy because it was drastic change for each of us beginning with Roland who is 27 without kids and was used to doing as he pleased, and Dion who for 7 years of his life only had me as a parent. And then there’s me wanting to give 100% to both. Roland has grown into this wonderful father, and I am so thankful he has helped me and lifted this enormous weight by helping me raise my son. He stepped into a responsibility that was left by someone else and has become the best father Dion can have. Dion loves him and mimics him in everything.  And as for myself…well I love my life!

So who am I now? I am a 26 year old woman, who is married and is a mother of one, and a deep believer of God. I am also a proud home owner who carries a full time job. I am not that different then most of the women out there: we all have failed and tried twice as hard to rise up again. I have made mistakes, but I have learned from them and transformed those mistakes into great accomplishments. I still have many more dreams to tackle but with my family, my son, my husband, and my friends next to me, I know everything will be just fine. We all have our low points in life, but I have learned that it is up to us if we to stay there. We are not the first in everything, nor the last.

Thanks for letting me share my story, I hope it serves as motivation to any mistakes you have made in your life. There is hope, there is a tomorrow, and I am proof that it DOES get better! 🙂

–Veronica–