I recently watched a documentary on the great Lee Alexander McQueen. A man who created an empire from nothing, who was broken and full of demons. Unlike many humans he chose to parade his demons through his art. He continued on building and showing us what made him special but also so broken. I just wonder if after every show he felt a moment of peace? I pray that after he showed us his darkest corner through his fashion shows that he felt relieved if even for a minute because every human deserves a moment without burden. I highly recommend this documentary, despite the sad ending you’ll find inspiration in this absolute fashion icon.
2018, I found myself hurting in many ways but most importantly I found myself fighting the hardest. This whole year I remained optimistic, there must be something at the end of these chaos and I have yet to loose hope. Call me crazy since as I am writing this we are in the midst of a government shutdown and I am 99% sure I will not be seeing a paycheck for a while. Funny thing is that one of my biggest fears has always been lack of funds, job ect, but here we are. Life is once again forcing me to face another fear. Raw, stressful and disappointing. Yet the only thing I could think of is. I’ll be dammed if I ever let men have a say on my money ever again.
I will Alexander Mcqueen myself out of these and find beauty in my despair and inspire others through my hardships. To those out there suffering from any type of stress, you aren’t alone. In 2019, let stick together and defeat any and every darkness that comes our way. Focus on self-care and finding solutions. Father time is wonderful and he is on our side. Time also heals everything including hardships and heartbreak. We are here for the long haul, not for the temporary run. In this new year, let’s feel fear, face fear and overcome fears.
I have a vision board, goals and a checklist for this year. I invite you to follow my journey. Celebrate my failures and successes with me. I promise I will try to make your moments with me beautiful!!
2018 started out rough! I had a major car accident the last workday of December 2017. I thankfully had not a scratch on me even though my car became undrivable and even un-towable as the rear tires were completely dislodged from the frame of the car. I told no one, only my family knew. I felt a mixture of fear and shame! I started the year in fear, trembling at the thought of driving alone again. I remember counting down to 2018 sitting at home with my husband, son, and I as a coughing snotty-nosed trio. I remember thinking, “really, this is how you introduce yourself 2018?!!” I felt defeated yet a wave of anger overcame inside me that turned to strength. I jokingly had this ongoing do-over mentality and objective with my boss and friend Karen, saying we’d try again for the lunar new year. We would celebrate on our own time when we felt better and up to the challenge of the new 2019!
I did just that. I healed, toughened up, remembered my faith was bigger than any setback. 2018 has definitely been a bitch lol, but I am the HBIC! This year brought me the guts I’ve always wanted to conquer my fear of not being good enough, or not being pretty enough or thin enough to be in front of a camera. I began the year running a talk show alone for the first time. I lost my fashion bestie to Cali (not really, Izzy is stuck to me for life! But she wasn’t a couple blocks away anymore 🙁 ). I got out of my own way. I launched my own website and show over at LiveWithLidia.com. Yes, I just shamelessly plugged that. I am in the process of launching an online shop on my brand new website.
I allowed myself to let go enough and enrolled my son in preschool, it killed me to do so. But now, my son is thriving and loving all his new friends and teachers. I continue to enjoy showcasing hardworking women, businesses, and hustlers any way I can. I traveled and explored new places and adventures despite my fear of flying, my fear of change. The point being, no matter how your year or day starts, you have control of how it ends. We dictate our outcome. We control our reactions. Take charge yall, ’cause if we don’t, life will make us its bitch; and ain’t nobody got time for that!!
Let’s thrive in 2019!